Cypriot Jokes

Once upon a time there was a mirror that sucked everyone that was lying:

One day a person from Nicosia goes in front of the mirror and says: - I'm thinking... that people from Nicosia are not too much "their mother's boys" (How do you translate "voutyropaida" anyway?).

The mirror sucked him.

Then someone from Limassol goes in front of the mirror and says:
- I'm thinking... that we the Limassolians are not too much of criminals.

The mirror sucked him.

Finally someone from Paphos goes in front of the mirror and says:
- I'm thinking...

The mirror sucked him.

Five Cypriots are talking to a very old, very wise lady. She wants to know what city they come from. The first one replies:

- I come from Nicosia, old lady.

- Good for you, says the old lady. Big city, the capital, but it's not by the beach and it's very hot in the summer. En pirazi, en pirazi (never mind, never mind).

Then the second one replies:

- I come from Limassol.

- Lucky you, says the old lady. Rich city, nice hotels, a lot of tourists. You have a lot of crime though, but en pirazi, en pirazi.

The third one says:

- I come from Famagusta, old lady.

- How nice! Beautiful beaches, nice citrus groves. Too bad you cannot enjoy it anymore and it's empty from people. En pirazi, en pirazi.

The fourth one comes from Larnaca.

- Nice! Says the old lady. You have the airport there and that nice beach with the palm trees. You also have the oil refinery which pollutes the air but en pirazi, en pirazi.

Finally the last one approaches the old lady and says:

- I come from Paphos, old lady.

- En pirazi, en pirazi.


-How do you call a bus that carries Paphite students to school?
Skoul bus.

-What did the Paphite do when they first saw a video(vcr)?
They put a slice of bread in it and they waited to get it toasted!

- Why do the Paphites have to attend the Elementary School for 7 instead of 6 years?
Because they have to spend the first year learning the language!


Once there was an old church in a village. The priest was very keen on keeping especially the bell of the church clean. But one day he realizes that a small bird comes and pees on the bell every evening. So he hides and watches the bird for a few days. He realizes that around the same time every evening, the bird comes, pees on the bell abd then goes and drinks water from a nearby water tank.

Having observed the pattern, the priest decides to set up a trap for the bird. So he fills the water tank with wine and hides and starts waiting for the little bird. The bird comes again, as usual, pees on the bell and then goes to the tank and drins - this time wine! So it becomes dizzy and falls. The priest runs, and takes the bird in his hand. He looks it in the eye and says:

-Little bird, what are you? You can not be Christian; you would not pee on the church bell then. You cannot be Muslim; in that case you would not drink wine. You can only be a CYPRIOT!